Anxiety

So.

Throughout today, and a little bit of the last couple of days, I have come to the realization that I have hella anxiety.

It’s not anything major like the type you see on TV, but like stuff that I don’t even realize until I evaluate it. Not even that honestly…  In the moment I do realize that I’m anxious, but it isn’t until that I look back on it that I’m like “oh. That wasn’t just concern, that was actual anxiety”.

Some of you maybe saying, “she’s just projecting”, but like no man. As I’m writing this I’m thinking back on all of those times, especially the most recent and my heart’s going crazy, I’m nauseous, I’m holding my breath. This shit is real. I’m getting real hot oh dear.

No. The point is that, I think because I went to therapy in high school, along with the fact that I’m not an extreme case, I’ve somehow learned to cope with my depression and anxiety so it doesn’t seem like a big deal? But in reality I’m a basket case. I actually have crippling depression and anxiety. I play it off as me turning into an introvert and just not wanting to interact with people, but like no. That’s definitely not it.

I’m going to keep blaming that and avoiding the problem, but like I want to state for the record, that’s a straight up lie.

Anyways, I hope you all have a great night. Sorry haven’t posted in a while. I’m currently on spring break so I haven’t done anything interesting except binge different shows and reading some fanfiction.

Until next time fam!

P.S. I’m on my phone so I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes.

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